Over the last week I’ve done a lot of thinking…
I’ve found that it was such a great privilege to go on this trip to Basque Country, to experience what God’s heart feels like for those that are so lost. It was also such an amazing reminder of that spark that has been lit in my heart for missions. This was the first time I’ve left the country since coming home from my YWAM experience 3 years ago. It’s hard to believe that it has been that long! I’m one of those people that leaves a little bit of my heart wherever I go. I haven’t decided yet if that’s a good thing or not… I’m pretty sure it is, but it hurts just a little each time.
So, I come home a little heart broken… but with a new flame in my heart.
I find it really curious how God has me here. I think I could pack up and leave at a moments notice (don’t tell my mom). I always feel so at home everywhere I go, I doesn’t matter what the conditions are, God has given me this gift of being able to be comfortable wherever He sends me. I’m pretty sure this trip came at just the right time, it was a fresh wind on that spark that hit my heart 3 years ago, but it also reminds me of the mission that I have here at home. God knows that I’m willing to go anywhere, but I also have to be obedient to stay right where he has me. I have my moments of frustration of still living in Poulsbo, being at my parent’s house, working a desk job. Then, I’m reminded of the hurt and pain that is all around me. The pleasure of being able to have my parents as friends and the impact that my job makes for the Kingdom. I know that by the standards of the world, I’m nowhere. That doesn’t really matter to me though; I’m right where God wants me to be. That’s the best place for anyone.
So, I come to these questions of wondering what else I can do right here? How can I be fully engaged right where He has me?
I’ll admit it, it has been a rough week for me, just ask my parents. Feelings of wanting to be somewhere else, but knowing this is where I should be. This also reminds me of some of the action steps that I can keep taking while God has me here. I must keep going to school, I want to be prepared for whatever He has for me in the future. I constantly have to stay humble, but I know it’s good for me. I need to find a balance of humility and confidence in what God is doing in my life. This is just a chapter and I’ll keep trusting my maker to move me in the right direction that glorifies Him.
I’ll post more on the observations that I have from the trip in the coming days, this was just a little bit that I needed to get out there.
Maybe now Mom will know that I’ll be okay!