Well, I have to be honest – I just had to count the weeks that I’ve been here. It has been six-weeks, hard to believe. I was just laying in bed trying to figure out what is going on with my life. This is not where I expected to be… not at all. Then again, if I would have known, I probably wouldn’t have taken the leap of faith that I did. There have been so many questions floating around in my head.
I am where I’m supposed to be?
Is this really what God had in mind?
Am I going to be ok?
Am I close yet?
And still the small soft voice kept answering all my questions… yes. I know that should bring me such peace, after all I’m supposed to walk in that peace each day as I go into battle. Have I been preparing for battle in the ways that I should be? I don’t think I’ve been putting my shoes on.
I have confidence in who my God is and I know that he holds my life in His hands, it just requires me to surrender to Him and loosen the grip that I have on my life. It’s not mine anymore, it never really has been, I’ve just been pretending that I had it. I’m holding onto the hope that He gives me in His Word and in His promises. Why would He ask me to be where I am if it wasn’t for something great? Who am I to do something great? Not really anyone, but apparently He uses those that are willing, so here I am at 12:33am, willing. Waiting. Hoping.
Maybe now I can get some sleep…