365 days.

It is so hard to believe that 365 days ago I had all my belonging packed in my car and was driving north on I-5…

It was a mixed bag of emotions, excited for the possibility of the new job I could possible have with Storyville, but at the same time mourning the failure that I was feeling as I was leaving after such a short time in California. I wanted it to work so badly, but it just didn’t.

These last 365 days have shaped me more than I think I’ve ever been before. My time with YWAM was life changing, but it was also very guided, so the changes were pretty much required in that time. This year has been different, it was all on me to decide, it was all on me to hear and obey God.

I’ve learned a new level of patience, dependability, self-sacrifice and just an overall awareness of those around me. I don’t have any clue what the next year holds, but hopefully new and exciting things. Life always has a way of changing and moving to keep me on my toes. I really feel as though I’ve finally gotten to a point where I feel like I’m not just surviving, but really thriving where I’m at… I guess I’m getting a little comfortable, who knows what that means, but I’m trying to embrace it.

It hasn’t been an easy year, I’ve been working/commuting about 60 hours per week and that makes relationships hard, but thankfully I’ve been blessed with amazing housemates (mom and dad) that let me at all hours and usually save me leftovers. I have been exhausted and worn out, but at the end of it all, I know I’ve been giving my best.

These last 365 days have brought more new friendships into my life. Deep, meaningful friendships that I know I’ll hold onto for a long time, that I know will be with me for my lifetime! This last week as I reflected on my birthday, talking with a friend about where I was last year, the transition to this year and how far I’ve come, I was reminded of the dreaming I was doing, of my goals, aspirations, things I want to accomplish and places I want to go.

I’ve decided that it is time to start dreaming again, it seems like there isn’t much time in the day to sit and dwell on what could be, I’ve always been a person that lives in the moment, but it’s time to dream of what my future holds. Maybe I’ll try some new hobbies, maybe I’ll book a trip to a country I’ve never been to, maybe there will be a little less self-sacrifice and a little more taking time for my self. I’m not really sure what all this looks like, but I know that I want to keep moving forward, I don’t dare grow stagnate and bored. There is too much life to live and I want to grasp all that I can.

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